The Suzuki Triangle, the metaphor for the connected relationship between Student, Parent, and Teacher, is properly drawn and envisioned as an equilateral triangle–the equal importance of each relationship is at the heart of the metaphor.
As our focus is naturally drawn to the child, the part of the triangle who we see as the primary actor, our geometry can be distorted and our triangle skewed:
Similar to the relationship between parents, the relationship between the two adults guiding your child’s Suzuki journey will directly and indirectly affect the trajectory and quality of the trip. So how do we keep our triangle in shape? Here are a few tips:
- Communicate about the process
- It’s invaluable to teachers to hear from you about how practice went each week, what type of stumbling blocks you might have encountered, whether emotions were running high, or what might be particular points of tension. It’s also extremely helpful if you can share information about your child from other activities such as motivational techniques that work for homework or struggles they face in school. You see your child everyday, we see your child for less than an hour a week, fill us in! Don’t be afraid to be really honest with your teacher about practicing, whether it was a good or bad week (we’ve all been there!).
- Reconsider making requests for lesson content
- After you tell us about that tantrum your 5 year old threw on Thursday night, please don’t follow it up with the suggestion that if only the next lesson included the piece your child really loves (or that his friend is playing in group class, etc.) the tantrums would be avoided. We rely on you to let us know your observations about your child’s behavior, but you have to trust us to find the best method to address those frustrations. You are in the trenches with your child while we have the overview and experience to plan the best strategy.
- Prepare your child for the lesson
- Besides from daily practice, there are a number of things you can do to prepare your child for their brief weekly time with their teacher:
- Bring all of the materials your teacher has requested (practice sheets, music books, hand outs, video camera, etc.)
- Arrive at least 5 minutes early to allow your child time to use the bathroom, wash her hands, have a drink of water, and mentally prepare for the lesson.
- Make sure fingernails are cut short.
- When possible (i.e., not to the detriment of others in the waiting room), unpack before the lesson door opens.
- Besides from daily practice, there are a number of things you can do to prepare your child for their brief weekly time with their teacher:
- Inquire respectfully about make-up lessons and schedule changes
- Keep in mind that music lessons are “non-durable” goods. Your child’s time slot is reserved for your child, even when you aren’t able to use it, it can’t be resold. This means that very often in order for your teacher to give you a “make-up”, she is actually offering you a pocket of her own free time without compensation. At times, this is appropriate and part of our policy, but please be aware that there are strict limits for make-ups and that even when a make-up is due, be aware of how you speak about it. Work with your teacher to find a time that fits conveniently in her schedule.
- Do show advance planning, awareness of our one make-up per semester policy and consideration for what will be best for the teacher: “… Unfortunately we have a conflict on April 8th and won’t be able to make the lesson. Can we use our one make up for that day? Is there another day or time we could schedule a make up? What days are best for you?”
- Don’t show misunderstanding of our 24 hour notice policy and demand instead of ask: “We won’t be able to make it to the lesson today, let us know when you can make it up.”
- Under no circumstances should you ever contact another teacher to give your student a lesson while your teacher is unavailable unless this has been suggested and prearranged by your own teacher.
- Keep in mind that music lessons are “non-durable” goods. Your child’s time slot is reserved for your child, even when you aren’t able to use it, it can’t be resold. This means that very often in order for your teacher to give you a “make-up”, she is actually offering you a pocket of her own free time without compensation. At times, this is appropriate and part of our policy, but please be aware that there are strict limits for make-ups and that even when a make-up is due, be aware of how you speak about it. Work with your teacher to find a time that fits conveniently in her schedule.
If you ever have questions about what your role is in the triangle, or how to better communicate with your teacher, just ask! Shinichi Suzuki said, “the fate of the child is in the hands of the parent”, heavy stuff… but we’re here to help navigate that responsibility so make sure to give some time and thought to the third side of the triangle–it can be your solace and support.